


Feeling Super, Super, Super (Suicidal)!

by goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople



Series: Dennis in High School [3]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anger, Angst, Begging, Borderline Personality Disorder, Breathplay, Come Swallowing, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dacryphilia, Denial, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Face-Fucking, Finger Sucking, Flirting, Hair-pulling, Homophobic Language, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Masochism, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mania, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Mixed Mood, Neck Kissing, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Past Rape/Non-con, Rejection, Rough Oral Sex, Sadism, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension, Slurs, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Tears, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 12:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21161657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople/pseuds/goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople
Summary: "I wish I wasn't such a narcissistI wish I didn't really kissThe mirror when I'm on my ownOh God, I'm gonna die aloneAdolescence didn't make senseA little loss of innocenceThe ugly years of being a foolAin't youth meant to be beautiful?"- Marina and the Diamonds, "Teen Idle"





	Feeling Super, Super, Super (Suicidal)!

"Dennis!" Mac called as he jogged towards the Reynolds twins as they approached the school. "I got you something. Oh, hey, Dee."

"Hey," Dee smiled. "Hey, Charlie," she greeted when he finally caught up to the small group.

Charlie waved and smiled at the twins.

"Here," Mac said as he retrieved a small plastic baggy from his jacket pocket and offered it to Dennis, who quickly slipped the gift into his jacket pocket.

"Thanks, man," Dennis said with a polite smile.

"No problem," Mac said as the four freshmen continued on their way to school.

"You seem much happier than usual," Dee remarked to her brother.

"I am," Dennis beamed.

"Why?" Charlie asked.

"Because I'm going to ask Maureen Ponderosa out today."

"What! Bill's little sister?" Dee asked, incredulous and somewhat envious.

"That's right," Dennis gloated.

"What the hell makes you think she'll say yes?" Dee challenged.

"Well." Dennis paused for dramatic effect for a few moments before revealing, "I fucked her in the stairwell on Friday during fifth period."

"WHAT?" Mac and Charlie exclaimed in unison as they both turned around to face Dennis as all four teenagers stopped in their tracks.

Dennis smirked proudly. "Yeah. It was hot as hell, dude. But the weird thing is that when I asked if I could have her number after, she kinda said not unless I meet her parents, so I'm thinking it might make sense to ask her out."

"Hm. Well... Just be careful," Mac said as he ran his hand along the sleeve of Dennis's sleek jacket. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

Dee rolled her eyes at her friend's very obviously gay display of concern for her asshole brother. She assumed that, like everyone, Dennis knew that Mac was gay, and she rolled her eyes again at the way he led Mac on, simpering and batting his feminine lashes at the enamored boy. "Yeah, you don't need to worry about him," Dee scoffed dismissively.

Today, they arrived at school well before the first bell sounded, and after departing from their lockers, Dennis made his way to the library, equal parts out of habit and out of hope. He was pleasantly surprised to see that its lights were on and that people were in it. He was so eager to finally talk to Ms. Klinsky. When he walked up to her desk, however, someone else was sitting in her chair.

"Can I help you?" the unfamiliar woman asked the boy who stood staring in perplexity before her.

"Who are you?" Dennis asked bluntly.

"Ms. Gibbs," she answered. "I'm the new librarian."

"What happened to Ms. Klinsky?"

"She left."

Dennis stopped himself from retorting, "No shit," which was actually very impressive, considering how suddenly he found that anger had flared up and was buzzing in his mind. He had a strange, very brief fantasy of dousing his brain in water to cool it down. Without another word, he stormed out of the library, yanking its door open and flinging it callously shut.

Dennis was glum all morning and throughout lunch, for despair taunted his spirits. He would never get to speak to Ms. Klinsky again. He was certain that she had left because of him. As Dennis ascended the stairs to his English class with loud, leaden steps, he found that he was vaguely consoled by the prospect of seeing Maureen. As he approached the open door to the classroom, he caught sight of Maureen speaking with the teacher, who was nodding solemnly. He saw the teacher point to the sole empty seat at the front of the classroom, the seat nearest the teacher's desk, which Maureen sat in as she arranged her school supplies upon the formerly unoccupied desk. Dennis was extremely uncomfortable throughout class, for he was certain that his teacher kept glaring at him. He darted from the classroom as quickly as he could once the bell sounded, but he lingered just outside the doorway to wait for Maureen.

Maureen was startled at the unexpected sight of Dennis waiting for her right outside the classroom. "Excuse me," she muttered quietly as she tried to walk past him.

"Hey," he smiled as he placed his hand on her arm. "I was wondering if -"

"Dennis, I don't want to have sex with you again," she said sternly.

"Uh, no, no, that's - That's not what I was, um." Dennis cleared his throat and decided to start over: "I was wondering if, if I could maybe take you to a movie or something this week."

"Oh. Why?"

"Well. I'd like to date you."

"Oh. Um... Let me get back to you. I have to get to class."

"Well, it's a simple yes or no answer."

"Dennis, let go of my arm," she said, becoming irritated.

"Okay," he said as he complied, taken aback by her harsh tone. "Um, why did you move seats?"

"I've gotta go," she said as she hurried away down the hall.

"Wait! When will I... hear... back?" By the end of Dennis's question, Maureen was out of sight, his voice dropping in volume on the last words. He walked sullenly to his next class, and remained sullen and somewhat confused until the end of the schoolday. He took his time leaving his last class. When he opened his locker, a sheet of lined paper that had been slipped in through the narrow gap at its edge slid down to his shoes. He bent to pick it up and saw that it read:

"Dennis,  
I moved seats because I don't want to be beside you. I don't want you to talk to me anymore. I am not interested in dating you, or being friends. I understand now why you don't seem to have any friends. Please don't try to talk to me about this or change my mind. I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings.  
Take care,  
Maureen."

Dennis stood staring at the crushing note, reading it over and over until the words became too blurry. GodDAMNIT! He crunched the paper into a ball and flung it hard back into his rusty locker, which he slammed shut after getting his jacket on. What the hell had he done wrong? He wiped his eyes and then immediately regretted doing so when he saw the black smudges all over his hand. His heart felt like it was in a million pieces, but it also felt like those pieces were aching to break free from the confines of his body; he wanted to tear off his own skin. He wanted to just be done with everything. Fuck the world. Fuck making friends with cool adults who seemed so sweet, fuck making friends with hot girls, FUCK HIGH SCHOOL, MAN! Dennis stormed down the hall to the boys' bathroom with heavy, emphatic steps and an unmatched, unpleasant anger. He yanked open the tap of the sink whose basin was chipped in several places, grey metal visible beneath the white ceramic, to wash his hands. He wet a paper towel to clear the mess of smeared makeup from his face, then deposited the used paper towel in the garbage bin after shutting off the tap. Anger may be power over sadness, but holy shit was it exhausting. And it HURT. It actually physically hurt - his brain, his body, everything. Dennis suddenly burst into tears with a force to rival the faucet he'd just used. He cried into his arms, which were folded upon the edge of the sink, his body shuddering beneath his knapsack. He didn't deserve this. Or... did he? He glanced up at his reflection in the mirror before him, which was smudged with fingerprints and chipping around the edges, befitting to this dingy, piss-stained bathroom but a stark contrast to his gorgeous face, even when it was rosy from crying and devoid of makeup. What good was being this beautiful when all he really seemed to attract was misery?

"... Dennis?" came a tentative voice from the direction of the bathroom door.

Dennis turned around to see Mac looking at him with an expression of vague concern, one hand tugging absently on one of the straps of his knapsack. "Hey. Mac," he muttered.

"What's wrong?" Mac asked as he approached Dennis. "You look... upset."

Dennis sniffled. "Yeah," he said as his voice cracked on the word.

"What happened?"

Dennis sighed. He really didn't want to get into all of this with Mac. He barely knew the guy. "Just... some stupid relationshit."

"Aww," Mac said with saccharine sympathy as he caressed Dennis's arm as he had this morning. "Maureen turned you down?"

"Yeah," Dennis snapped.

"Aw, don't worry about it, dude. She doesn't know what she's missing."

"Mm. What's she missing?" Dennis was in dire need of flattery at the moment.

Mac blushed. "Well... you're gorgeous."

"Yeah. She kinda said that, too. I really wasn't expecting her to be so harsh in rejecting me. Fuck, I wasn't expecting her to reject me."

"I'd never reject you." The words left Mac's mouth before he could stop them, and he suddenly froze in fear of how Dennis would react. He apparently was into banging chicks, after all, it turned out.

Dennis was caught off guard for a moment. It wasn't news to him, but he hadn't expected Mac to be so honest. He wasn't particularly attracted to Mac, but he was so fucking tempted to test the extent of his devotion. "You wouldn't?"

"N-No, I... I wouldn't," Mac whispered.

Dennis's heart began to beat faster with the thrill of the power trip upon which he was about to embark. "Prove it."

"Um... How?"

"However you want, baby boy," Dennis murmured, meeting Mac's wide eyes with a glossy but serious gaze.

Mac swallowed thickly. He was so hard already, and he worried that his arousal might be clouding his perception of the situation. He bit his lower lip, a subconscious, nervous gesture. "What, um, what do you want, Den?"

"I want to feel good," Dennis confessed honestly in a cracked whisper. He stepped closer to Mac, so close that his nose brushed Mac's ear, as he whispered in a more confident voice, "Make me feel good, Mac."

Mac was sure that the uncomfortable heat he felt between their bodies wasn't just due to Dennis's proximity. There was virtually no mistaking that tone, that tone that dripped with subtle authority as much as it dripped with sublime need. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to make any sort of move. He shuddered, grateful and relieved, when Dennis's lips found his neck. He surrendered to Dennis's soft lips and warm breath upon his sensitive skin.

"Put your knapsack down," Dennis murmured as he ceased his attentions for the moment to set his knapsack upon the disgusting floor.

Mac obeyed, and as soon as he stood back up, he found himself pinned against the wall, flush against Dennis's chest... and, to Mac's incredible relief and mild surprise, against his prominent erection, as well. "Yes," he panted. "Oh, please, please, Dennis!"

"What are you begging for?" Dennis whispered in a voice that said he already knew.

"You," Mac choked out.

"Yeah?" Dennis grinned as he began to become very excited, but then his grin faltered, for he remembered how eager Maureen had seemed at first. He was suddenly struck by a thought that made him feel strangely guilty: Had he done to Ms. Klinsky what Maureen did to him? Had he led her on? The thought that he may have done to MAUREEN what Ms. Klinsky did to HIM didn't enter his mind. Why should it? It was consensual. It was a roleplay, a roleplay to which she'd agreed. Dennis swallowed thickly before stating with morose certainty, "You're going to hate me after."

"What? No, I won't. Dennis, I want this."

"Yeah, well, I thought Maureen did, too! And I think Ms. Klinsky thought I wanted it -"

"Whoa, whoa, hang on a sec," Mac said as he felt the sexual charge evaporate. "Ms. Klinsky the librarian?"

"Former librarian, apparently," Dennis muttered.

"Dude... Are you saying she... she ra-"

"I don't want to talk about it! No, that's not what I'm saying! She'd never do that," Dennis said vehemently as he felt his eyes burn with impending tears.

"O...kay," Mac said, unconvincingly feigning acceptance of Dennis's denial. "Um... Is there anything I can do for you? I don't mean - Well, I mean, if you want to still - Um, not that you have to, of course -"

"Hey, Mac?" Dennis interrupted abruptly, annoyed at being spoken to like some powerless, fragile child.

"Yeah, Den?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"... Sorry," Mac muttered.

"I told you to make me feel good, and somehow - SOMEHOW you've made me feel worse."

"I'm sorry," Mac winced.

"Mmhm." Dennis's erection had flagged, but Mac's obvious, subservient willingness was sure to restore it in no time. "So sorry you'd let me fuck you? Right here, just like this? No lube, no protection? Anyone could walk in."

Mac chuckled nervously, genuinely unsure if Dennis was just being hypothetical. "If, uh... If it would help you, then... I guess."

"Alright." Dennis deftly undid Mac's belt and fly as he felt adrenaline fill his cock. He pushed Mac's jeans and underwear down past his knees, then shoved all four fingers of his right hand in Mac's mouth. "You know what to do," he smirked.

Mac sucked on Dennis's fingers, tasting the faint salt of Dennis's skin as he gazed into his smug face with eyes that pled for some form of mercy. He gagged loudly and felt his eyes water on reflex when Dennis shoved his fingers down Mac's throat.

"Fuck... Yeah, you're so fucking hot like this. Just taking whatever I give you." Dennis finally withdrew his fingers from Mac's mouth to slide them behind him between his ass cheeks.

Mac bit his lip until it turned almost white as he felt himself stretch around another person's fingers for the first time. It wasn't entirely comfortable, especially when Dennis worked in his fourth finger, but he was unsurprised to see himself dripping precome onto the floor.

"That should do," Dennis decided after he deemed Mac sufficiently stretched. He undid his belt and fly, but in his excitement, didn't bother with pulling his belt through the loops before pushing his pants and underwear down to reveal that he was finally as excited as Mac.

Mac immediately dropped to his knees, uncaring of the state of the bathroom floor, and swallowed Dennis's cock, giving it the same treatment he'd given his fingers. He looked up at Dennis the whole time.

Dennis impressively refrained from coming as he stared into Mac's eyes, the way they slanted down at the far corners creating a beautifully satisfying impression of sadness or discomfort. "Fuck... Fuck, okay, stop, Mac."

Mac pulled off briefly to say, "I want you to come in my mouth," before returning to sucking down Dennis's shaft, his mouth intentionally tight as fuck, his cheeks hollowed.

Dennis's judgement may have been compromised at the moment, but he wasn't a goddamn idiot. He was irritated by the fact that Mac was obviously trying to manipulate his way out of getting fucked, even though he'd agreed to it and even let Dennis prep him. Dennis yanked hard on Mac's hair as he fucked all his shitty feelings into the boy at his feet who never broke eye contact even as tears slid freely down his cheeks. "Yeah," Dennis growled in a voice so low he impressed himself. "Fucking take it... Slutty little fag. Swallow it; show me how much you fucking want me." He held Mac still, pressing his nose into Dennis's abdomen as Dennis forced him to swallow everything. He pinched Mac's nostrils shut, loving the panicked, pleading look in those sad, pretty eyes.

Mac gasped and coughed as his lungs were finally permitted air once more when Dennis released him. He wasn't sure if he liked the strong, bitter taste, but he was sure he didn't like the disappointed frown marring Dennis's flawless face. The boys righted their clothing in silence, barely acknowledging each other until Mac finally murmured as he slung his knapsack back on, "Um, I don't really like that word."

"Which word?"

"The... The F-word."

"Fuck?"

"No..."

"Oh," Dennis said as he suddenly understood, slightly embarrassed by his mistake. "Sorry. I didn't mean it. After all, if I did, then I'd be one too, I guess."

"You are one," Mac said with a playful grin.

Dennis snickered. "Well, at least I'm not a fucking pussy."

Mac's brow furrowed in confusion. "What?"

Dennis glared at Mac in mild annoyance. "You didn't stop when I told you to."

"Well, that's because you were really liking it!" Mac retorted in defense. "Plus... I just thought it made sense to do it that way since, you know, we DON'T have lube or protection... I'm sorry. But, um... If you wanna come over, my parents barely even know I exist half the time, and then we could, um... I could let you, uh, you know, and then I can maybe finish, as well..."

"No," Dennis sighed, exasperated and exhausted. "Maybe some other time. I'm just... too tired now. Thanks for the blowjob, man." Dennis patted Mac on the shoulder as he exited the bathroom, leaving Mac hard as fuck and feeling more than a bit disappointed, but unbeknownst to Dennis, somewhat comforted and hopeful at Dennis's consolation of "some other time." Dennis nearly burst out crying again as he walked home, and the worst and weirdest part was that he didn't even know WHY. Teenage hormones? It felt like he was experiencing every emotion at once and he fucking hated it: the energy of anger, the supreme despair of sadness, but also the fresh euphoria of sex. He wanted to cry and scream and die and run and sleep forever and live forever and fuck everyone just because he could and do everything just because he could and do nothing because nothing mattered and destroy everything, break every heart because only he mattered, but mattering was too much pressure and if he could just release the pressure, let it drain from his wrists, perhaps... Well, then he'd be free. That night, Dennis fell asleep as he imagined that it was the last time he'd ever close his eyes.

It wasn't, of course, for Dennis awoke the next day. But remarkably - no, miraculously, he awoke happy. It was the happiest he'd ever been. It was a happiness that lasted for THREE STRAIGHT DAYS! Well, it was kind of three gay days, in both senses of the word, for he did take Mac up on his offer and HOLY FUCK WAS IT EVER INCREDIBLE! It was fantastic... until something changed. The happiness changed. It began to sing through every synapse so bright and loud it became unbearable and just to have a break he wished to feel nothing, and he did, and eventually he wished to feel anything, even pain, and holy shit did he ever. He nearly threw up when his English teacher distributed the old, battered copies of the novel they'd be reading as a class and analyzing individually, the sweet, musty fragrance of old books filling the air like a toxic fog. He did all he could to keep his mascara from running. He missed her. Or at least, he missed the person whom he chose to believe she was: the kind, fascinating librarian; his first real friend. 

That night, when he visited Mac, they slept together in only the literal sense for the first time as Mac held Dennis throughout the night. He'd arrived a wreck, his eyes red and sunken, his face streaked with grey tear tracks.

Mac kissed Dennis's quiet tears away and stroked the boy's hair until he fell asleep on Mac's chest. He felt sorry for Dennis, but he couldn't deny the transcendent beauty of this intimacy, couldn't deny the warmth that emanated throughout his being despite the autumn wind whipping the skeletal branches of the tree outside his bedroom against the pane of his half-open window, couldn't deny the comfort of being needed. "It's okay," he whispered as Dennis shuddered in his sleep. "It's okay, Den." Mac wrapped his arms tighter around the sleeping boy, their slender bodies snug against one another beneath Mac's covers. "I've got you."

**Author's Note:**

> Context/ references:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yScQJ6L0-GQ&feature=share
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNHi7ZzBCPc&feature=share
> 
> https://youtu.be/IUcj4xnQbPM


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